An Honest Look At Thankfulness

 

Let's talk about thankfulness, but let’s talk about it honestly.

It's easy for us—especially those of us in faith communities—to throw around phrases like "just be grateful" or "count your blessings." But let’s be real: sometimes life knocks the wind right out of you, and in those moments, the thought of being thankful feels like a bridge too far. Sometimes, we’re dealing with circumstances so heavy—grief, chronic pain, deep injustice, or unrelenting anxiety—that gratitude feels like a spiritual requirement we simply cannot meet.

We need to acknowledge a critical truth: being thankful is not always easy, and it definitely does not solve every problem or instantly erase the pain.

The Reality Check: Thankfulness Doesn't Mean Instant Easy

When we choose gratitude in the midst of true hardship, we are not pretending the hardship doesn't exist. We are not saying, "This financial crisis is fine!" or "This grief doesn't hurt!" That would be denial, not faith.

Instead, when we practice thankfulness during a trial, we are making a difficult, deliberate choice that shifts where we look, not what we feel. We are choosing to look past the circumstances and fix our eyes on the one thing that remains stable: God’s character and His promises.

This is why the Apostle Paul's command is so challenging, yet so profound: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you”

 (1 Thessalonians 5:18, ESV).

 He doesn't ask us to thank God for the circumstance, which would be impossible some days. He asks us to give thanks IN it. This is a crucial distinction. It acknowledges the pain is present, but it asserts that God is more present.

How Hard-Won Gratitude Deepens Our Faith

When thankfulness is a difficult, costly choice—a genuine sacrifice of praise (Hebrews 13:15)—it does something truly powerful to our faith:

1. It Forges Faith Through Acknowledged Pain

Faith that is only strong when things are good is fragile. The thankfulness that strengthens us is the thankfulness that we wrestle for. It’s the prayer that starts with tears and disappointment, but ends with a surrender: "This is hard, God, but I am still thankful for the cross, for Your presence, and for the hope of eternity."

 This kind of raw, honest gratitude forces us to rely on God's past faithfulness instead of our current comfort. We reflect on how He has provided before, how He sustained us through previous valleys, and how He kept His promise to never leave us (Deuteronomy 31:6). Our thankfulness, in these moments, becomes evidence of our faith, because it is based on memory and trust, not immediate relief.

2. It Reorients Our Perspective, Not Our Situation

Sometimes, our problems don't go away just because we say thank you. The storm still rages, but thankfulness changes our perspective inside the boat.

When we are honest with God about the struggle, and then choose to thank Him for even a sliver of light—a kind word, a moment of peace, the ability to still pray—we are consciously choosing to recognize His gifts amid the darkness.

As James reminds us, "Every good and perfect gift is from above..." (James 1:17). Acknowledging those small, perfect gifts when everything else feels imperfect is a declaration of faith that God is still active, still loving, and still sovereign, even if His timeline isn’t ours.

3. It Cultivates Resilience, Not Denial

The faith that is strengthened by difficult gratitude is resilient. It learns that joy isn't the absence of sorrow, but a deep-seated assurance rooted in Christ that transcends sorrow.

Look at the story of Job. He lost literally everything—his children, his health, his wealth—in a sudden, devastating manner. His faith wasn't instant gratitude; it was wrestling, anguish, and legitimate grief. But even in his lowest point, Job eventually proclaimed, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21, ESV).

Job wasn't thanking God for the suffering; he was thanking God for being God—the source of life and the source of all things.

That radical, heartbreaking surrender of thanks is what cemented his faith against total despair. It taught him, and it teaches us, that our foundation is immovable, even when the house shakes violently.

So, please, don't feel guilty if thankfulness is a struggle today. Acknowledge the struggle. Bring the honest pain to God.

 But then, deliberately search for the truth of His character and His overarching grace. Let your gratitude be the hard-won battle cry of a faith that refuses to be defined by its circumstances. It’s not an instant fix, but it is the slow, steady process of growing a resilience that proves your hope is not in this world, but in the steadfast love of God that endures forever.

It’s a choice we make daily, sometimes hourly, and that consistent, difficult choice is what makes our faith strong enough to weather any storm.

What part of this process—the wrestling, the reflecting, or the resilience—feels most relevant to your life right now?

 

-Pastor Patti