Dealing With Tragedy

Beyond the age old question “why do bad things happen to good people?”; lurks the question.. ”what do I do with the feelings of anger, frustration and anguish when those bad things happen?”

Most often we ask that question with the far-reaching hope, that there is a quick fix for this state of mind and heart. We want to be proactive in our desire to alleviate those frustrated angry feelings that scream out “ITS NOT FAIR!”

I along with many others, try to limit my world news intake on a daily basis. It often means walking a fine line between keeping up with what is going on and a desire for the self-preservation of my heart.

As a pastor my life often takes me to the front lines of tragedy with the people of my church. Walking through the raw behind the scenes moments of life with another person is a sobering and humbling journey.  It is these times that often take me to that desperate question. “What do I do with the feelings of anger, frustration and anguish when bad things happen to either myself or people around me?” 

It's a question I deal with personally, along with helping others to understand it as well.

These are those pastoral moments where you fight to not sound cliché or trite. These are those times as a teacher of Gods word and a disciple of Gods way, I not only pull from Gods word, but strive to lead others to do the same. (Even though I know full well, that it is not always an easy thing to do.)

Beyond the questions of what to do with those frustrated angry feelings of despair is the additional question, “Pastor what do YOU do?”

My answer comes with great humility; because there are times I too struggle with that same question. For me it's not always a question of what to do, it is a question of “can I do what I know is needed in that moment?”

Prayer. That is what is needed, even though at times it just does not seem like enough.

Remembering Gods Word. That is also what is needed to remember who is still in control, regardless of the chaos we see.

The problem is, that both of those things are hard to engage in when we don’t feel like it. When we don’t feel we have the right mindset or attitude we tend to avoid both of those things. Our thoughts are usually along the lines of feeling that if we don’t have the heart for it we just shouldn’t do it.

But here is the advice that I live by for myself and pass on to others.

Pray anyway. Even when you don’t want to.

Seek Gods word anyway. Even when you don’t feel like it.

Don’t let your emotions dictate your ability to engage in either one of those things. The reality is that those times you don’t “feel” like praying and those times you “feel” like you don’t have it in you to be in Gods Word….THOSE are the times that you need to engage most!

Pray anyway. Seek Gods Word anyway. Push through and persevere.

This isn’t simply my arbitrary solution. This is scriptural and God directed.

Romans 5:3-5: When faced with trials, consider it an opportunity to grow in endurance. Endurance leads to stronger character, which in turn strengthens hope.

Hebrews 10:36: Patient endurance is necessary to continue doing God's will and receive his promises.

Colossians 1:11: Be strengthened with power to have great endurance and patience.

Romans 12:12: Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.

So, what happens when you push through and pray anyway? What happens when you seek Gods Word regardless of your discouraged heart?

Something changes.

The circumstances may remain the same. The heartbreaking reality may still be right in front of you…but something changes inside.

In those times of pushing through I have learned that Galatians 6:9 is true.

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment."

There really is a peace that surpasses all understanding as Paul tells us in Philippians 4! When I am troubled and I go to the pages of scripture, it's like reading loving words from a dear friend…

Dear Patti,

”Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 4:6-7)

-Love your dear friend Paul

Try making the text personal. Read it not as some ethereal words penned to other eyes; but as a letter written to YOUR heart.

Read it as advice coming from a friend that knows your fragile heart well and has walked through the valley of discouragement many times too. It becomes evident that the advice Paul gives is that of a person who has lived into it himself. His advice is tried and true…and he wants to share it with you.

Dear Friend, (Fill your name in here)

“We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.”

Pray anyway. Engage in God’s word anyway.

Because He wants to hear from you…AND He has something to say to you to help heal your broken heart.

 

-         Pastor Patti