Fighting Fire With Fire

 

Have you heard the expression “Fight fire with fire”? That’s when you come back at something or someone with the same thing that they came at you with. Someone comes at you angry; you give them anger back. When someone comes at you arrogantly you give them arrogance back. You get the idea.

It’s a vicious cycle really; because the discussion or argument or situation never becomes about a resolution. It simply becomes about sustaining the level of animosity or maintaining an equilibrium of anger; none of which are healthy or Christ like.

We can look at these situations like mini storms in our lives; things that come at us in a moments notice. Someone cuts us off in an aggressive way, or blindsides us with a less than kind criticism. In both cases we’re taken off guard and a feeling deep within us erupts. Suddenly we find ourselves behaving aggressively back to the other driver or saying unkind words to the person who we feel has verbally violated us.

If we look at these times as storms in our life, it can help us to deal with these moments better.

What do we do during storm seasons? In Florida we “prepare”. We go out ahead of time and buy the necessary things to help us when the storms hit. These things can’t control the storm or stop it from coming, but they can help us react and deal with them.

The same thing goes for these other storms in our lives. These uninvited situations that arise from time to time, when we feel attacked and offended. We can’t do anything to control or stop these situations most of the time, but we can do something to help us react and deal with them. We can be “prepared”

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” -John 16:33

Something that has helped many people during stormy seasons is understanding the nature of the storm itself. Meteorologists can tell us wind velocity, rain expectancy, speed and strength because they have an understanding of the nature of the storm itself.

For as much as we have grown to understand more and more about human development and growth; we still do not seem to have the capacity to understand each other all that well.

When someone brings an angry or aggressive storm our way it’s usually because there is so much more going on behind the damage of their words than meets the eye.

We can’t see wind but boy does it pack a punch during a hurricane! Most times the angry words or aggressive behavior have an invisible wind behind them we just can’t see. Things like past issues, emotional stress, insecurity, vulnerability and frustration, fuel the negative winds of emotion.

I suspect we might be less likely to fight fire with fire or anger with anger or aggression with aggression…..if we appreciated the nature behind the human storms of emotion that sometimes come into our lives. Many times, that person who is bringing us some “fire” is having a problem coping with something completely unrelated to us.

If I could think of a scripture to counter the “Fight fire with fire” motto, it might be..

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”-Romans 12:2

If we go into the world transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives it will change the way we think and act. When we allow God to work in our lives, we will no longer just hear angry words or aggressive actions; we’ll be able to see a hurting soul in front of us. We will no longer feel the offense of the offender but sympathy for the insecure. 

Instead of matching anger with anger we bring patience and peace. Instead of matching ugly words with ugly words we speak kindness.

It’s not to say this is easy…. especially in the moment. Our first inclination might very well be to grab hold of what was thrown at us and throw it right back.

Philippians 4:19 says “God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus”. Gods strength gives us the incredible ability to be supplied with the patience and peace that surpasses all understanding in difficult moments, but we have to prepare for those storms.

We prepare through prayer. We prepare through being in the Word and knowing Gods heart so well that we can see past the words and actions of others.

I have learned more than once that one of the most disarming things to do when someone is unkind is to react with kindness. It can be challenging but It’s also powerful.

Healing this world is as much about what we shouldn’t do, as it is about what we should do. Stopping a cycle of animosity, anger or aggression by not engaging fire with fire is a first step. Jesus knew we would often times not find peace in this world. That’s why we find our peace in Him, the one who has overcome the world.

-Pastor Patti